Take It Like a She-Cat
by malicent
Summary: In a world where she-cats are only born to serve the toms, life itself can become unbearable. Meanwhile, one tom struggles as he realizes that what they are doing is wrong. Is evil born, or created?
1. Prologue

Take It Like a She-Cat

Chapter 1: Prologue

The first thing that came out of Brokenclaws mouth was a lie.

Lying came naturally to him like animal instincts, wired so deeply into him that part of me wonders if he could ever think any differently. Can a cat be born with so much evil, or is just it created over time? If it's beaten into someone enough, do they even have a choice?

I don't think I'll ever know.

* * *

It was a cold winter night. Frost covered the entire forest like a blanket. Brokenclaw shivered and curled up a little more in his nest, wondering for a moment how cold the she cats were. He pushed the thought away almost at once, telling himself that that was the wrong way to think.

 _She-cats don't need to be warm;_ Icestars voice rang in his ears. _We don't keep tree's warm, do we? No, a tree's only purpose is to bring oxygen into our world. Just as a she cats only purpose is to serve us._

"Brokenclaw," a sleepy voice mumbled behind him. "You're not asleep, are you? It's time for our shift."

Brokenclaw turned his head, blinking tiredly. His friend Bluelight stood hunched over, as if he was an elder with tired bones. Brokenclaw understood why, they both had the late shift all week and it was starting to take a toll on them both.

"I don't know why we always have to work so late," he muttered as he stood up from his warm nest. "Can you even remember the last time Foxfur had to get up at this time?"

"Maybe before he started kissing Icestars ass so much," Bluelight rolled his eyes as he led the way of the den. "Icestars got that guy so whipped it's not even funny anymore."

"No doubt," Brokenclaw started trembling involuntarily as he stepped out of the den, realizing it was even colder than he thought. _The she cats must be just freezing,_ he thought again. _Ugh, I need to stop thinking about it!_

He could see them huddled together, shaking from the cold before he even got close. The pen the she cats resided in was covered in frost.

"Health check," Bluelight snapped, the kind tone he spoke to Brokenclaw with changing aggressively. "Everyone stand up."

The pen the she cats lived in consisted of a bunch of twigs lined up in a circle, with thorn branches woven in. Bluelight shoved the bigger sticks that were used as a door to the side, revealing the she cats. They stared up at the toms, eyes scared. Brokenclaw couldn't look at them; it made him feel too bad.

 _Sometimes I feel like I'm the only cat here that feels any sympathy for them._

"I said STAND UP," Bluelight snarled, taking a menacing step forward. This spooked the she cats, and they mewed pitifully like a bunch of kits. Brokenclaw accidently made eye contact with one of them and looked away at once.

The she cats, nearly frozen from the cold, stood up on shaking legs. Their lips were thin and terribly blue.

"I will begin roll call," Bluelight spoke the words out of routine, looking bored as if it was a chore. "Loki."

"Here," a tiny gray she cat whispered sadly. "Bluelight, we're freezing-"

"Loki," Bluelight barked again, but speaking to someone else. A different gray she cat mumbled something to show she was there, staring at the ground.

There was three different she cats named Loki, all gray but not related. Icestar had named them all Loki regardless, because they all had the same color fur.

 _It doesn't matter if they have the same name,_ Icestars words rang in Brokenclaws ears again. _We don't name different colored rocks, do we? They're all the same thing._

Icestars logic disturbed Brokenclaw a bit, and he felt bad all over again. _I wouldn't like it if there was more than one cat with my name._

"Ginger," Bluelight continued, nodding as a white she cat squeaked from the back of the group. Brokenclaw wondered why he skipped the third Loki, remembering after a moment that she had been relocated at the last gathering.

Once every four gatherings, the prettiest she cats would attend with the tom cats. The leaders of each clan would make a swap, each picking out the she cat they liked best. The she cat would then be used to bear kits for the clan. After the kits were born, their only purpose would be to cater to the leader at every second. When the next four full moons came and went, the selected she cat would be exiled and the process would repeat itself.

The leader of each clan would take care of the kits until they were old enough to join the other she cats. If it was a tom cat, the leader would treat him like a king.

If a she cat was born, it was the opposite.

There were three clans, the Kings, the Silver Knights and the Jokers. Brokenclaw was glad he was a part of the Silver Knights; despite how things went in the forest he knew they had it the best. The Kings clan was pretty shady, and he shuddered to think about how the she cats were treated over on that side of the forest. The Jokers were a mystery. No one really knew what went on in there, and Brokenclaw didn't care to find out.

"Lila," Bluelights snarky voice broke his thoughts, and he snapped his head back up. Again, he caught eyes with one of the she cats and he swore under his breath.

"Here," a sad voice called out from the group.

"And Cindy is in Icestars den, so that's where she is," Bluelight muttered to himself under his breath. "Alright, who do we have left?"

Brokenclaw hoped he was still talking to himself, so he didn't reply to his question. He already knew who the last cat on the list was, but he didn't want to point it out.

 _Hanna,_ his heart hurt just thinking about her name. Hanna was the only orange she cat, and the only one that was just as pretty as the third Loki. Brokenclaw had liked her ever since he had met her, and he wasn't looking forward to the next gathering. _One of the leaders will pick her for sure next time,_ he thought sadly. _Oh, its times like these when I wish it didn't have to be like this. I'd rather hold her than have her work for me._

 _I'd rather her love me, but she's just a slave._

 _She has no choice_

"HANNA!" Bluelight cried at last, finally figuring out who he was missing. He looked around the group, eyes narrowing angrily as he looked for her. "Hanna, speak up please."

"She's not here," The second Loki whispered quietly.

"Did I ask you to talk?" Bluelight snapped, even though her words were helpful. He glared at the she cats as if they had just announced they wanted to fight him. Brokenclaw could feel his heart dropping at an alarming rate, and he hoped to Starclan that Hanna didn't try to run away.

 _I can't even imagine what Icestar would do to her if she tried to escape,_ Brokenclaw thought, worried. _Oh, Hanna. Where are you?  
_ "Where the fuck is Hanna," Bluelight hissed in Brokenclaws ear. "Graywhisker reported they were all here not even an hour ago!"

"I don't know," Brokenclaw hissed back, feeling frightened for her safety. "Maybe she went to the dirt place."

"She knows she needs a warrior present," Bluelight growled. "Oh, she is in big trouble."

"I'll go have a look around," Brokenclaw said quickly, realizing it would be better for him to find her rather than the hostile Bluelight.

"I'll stay here and guard," Bluelight replied, nudging Lila who was sitting at the front of the huddle. "How's it going, girls?" he laughed sarcastically, voice mean. "Having a fun night in the cold?"

Brokenclaw left quickly, trying not to feel bad about anything. He was starting to get annoyed with Bluelight, who was being even more rude than usual.

"Hanna," Brokenclaw called softly, hoping not to wake the tom cats. _Oh, wouldn't that be just great. Poor Hanna would be in even more shit._

"Brokenclaw?" Hanna's little voice rang out in the cold air, and Brokenclaw turned to his side. Hanna was peering out at him from behind a tree, her eyes scared.

"What are you doing?" Brokenclaw whispered gently, looking around to make sure no one was watching him. "You know you're not supposed to be out here."

Hanna just stared at him, her eyes filled with fear and sadness. It broke Brokenclaws heart into a million pieces.

"I'm not going to hurt you," Brokenclaw said, voice cracking. _This… this isn't right. Why can't anyone else see this?_

"If you did, it would be because I deserved it," Hanna recited the words she was instructed to say, flattening her ears. "Sir."

"You don't need to call me sir," Brokenclaw said. "Unless we're around others."

"Okay, sir," Hanna said again, sounding irritated this time.

"Hanna," Brokenclaw sighed. "You're making me sad-"

"Well what the fuck do you expect me to do, Brokenclaw?" Hanna hissed with an intense anger. "Tell you I'm sorry? That everything's gonna be okay?"

"You need to get back into the pen," Brokenclaw said at last, realizing he had said the completely wrong thing. "Bluelights angry you got out. You're lucky it was my shift when you decided to leave. And how'd you get past the thorns?"

"It wouldn't matter anyway," Hanna hissed as she shoved past him in the direction of the pen. _"Sir."_

Brokenclaw led the way back, heart heavy. _I don't blame her. I'm so lucky I got born a tom cat…_

"Found her in the dirt place," Brokenclaw lied as he stepped back into the pen. Bluelight glared at Hanna angrily.

"You broke a rule," he hissed. "You know the drill."

Hanna didn't speak as she got into position, staring at Brokenclaw the whole time. As soon as she was lying flat on the ground, Bluelight stepped on top of her, latching his claws into her back.

With a terrible jerk, he twisted to the side, scratching deep into Hanna's back. He did it again and again, and Brokenclaw felt sick.

Hanna's eyes didn't leave his.

* * *

Hanna woke up to the sound of loud voices shouting outside the pen. She got up slowly, wincing as the cuts on her back started to sting painfully.

"Sounds like Graywhisker out there," Ginger whispered as she stood up at once. "Oh, my bones hurt."

"Are you okay, Hanna?" Loki1 asked gently, looking over at her friend sadly. "Bluelight really tore one into you last night."

"I don't think he needed to be so violent," Lila put in. "But why did you even leave in the first place, Hanna? You knew he'd get mad."

"I don't know," Hanna confessed, not knowing why she'd do that to herself. _Guess I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all._

"She cats, we are hungry," Graywhisker called from outside the pen. "Prepare the meals and you can have whatever's left over."

"Which will be nothing," Hanna whispered angrily, feeling a boiling hatred rise up in her. "There's never anything left over."

"At least it'll be over for you soon, Hanna," Loki2 said sadly. "We all know you're going to be picked at the next gathering."

"What good is that going to do me?" Hanna snapped, shaking her head. "You think I want to have some assholes kits?"

"No," Loki2 replied gently. "But think about it, Hanna. When your four moons are up, you can leave."

"Yeah, we're never getting out," Loki1 said miserably, staring at her paws. "We're going to be slaves forever. But you, you get to leave."

"Where am I gonna go," Hanna asked, feeling her body tremble slightly. _As much as I hate my life, I don't want to be alone… these she cats are my friends._

"Maybe you can find Fairlight," Ginger suggested. Hanna thought back to the cat who had been chosen last time, by the leader of the Joker clan. Fairlight was a pretty light yellow cat with yellow eyes. Three moons ago she was chosen, replaced with Cindy from the Kings clan. Hanna didn't see much of Cindy; she spent most of her time in Icestars den.

"Yeah, go find Fairlight," Loki2 said, sounding half hopeful and half joking. "Find her and get us the hell out of here."

"She cats!" Graywhisker barked again. "If the foods not prepared in five seconds, you won't eat for a week!"

"Better go," Hanna said, making way for the entrance. Graywhisker shoved the sticks to the side to let her out. Hanna spotted Brokenclaw at once, staring at her from a little ways away.

"What'll you have?" Hanna called out, sarcasm lacing her tone. "Squirrel or mouse today, sir?"

Brokenclaw stared at her, looking nearly as sad as she felt. Her heart beat painfully against her chest, and she struggled to push her feelings away.

"I'm not hungry," he whispered.


	2. King's Feast

Take It Like a She-Cat

Chapter 2: King's Feast

 _a/n: Detected a small problem from the last chapter, here it is: 'Brokenclaw wondered why he skipped the third Loki, remembering after a moment that she had been relocated at the last gathering'_

 _This is wrong; the third Loki was relocated TWO gatherings ago, with Fairlight being relocated ONE gathering ago. Sorry for the confusion!_

 _Also, I apologize if you're getting mixed up with the Loki's._

* * *

"It's such a nice day out," Ginger said, sounding as if she was trying to make her voice more optimistic than it really was. "The sun feels nice on my fur."

"It's not bad," Hanna shrugged, using her teeth to gently pull off some berries from a bush. The pile she was collecting was getting quite high, bigger than Gingers.

Once a week, two she cats were selected to pick berries off the bushes just outside the camp. They were used with the meals they prepared for the toms, mixed in with the boneless prey. The she cats were also expected to pick the bones out of each piece.

"You know what would be funny?" Hanna snorted when a thought crossed her mind. "We should just leave all the bones in and see how many of them choke."

"Hanna!" Ginger gasped, her green eyes wide. "Don't say that."

"Oh come on," Hanna smirked. "It was funny and you know it."

"I just like to keep optimistic," Ginger said, sounding as if she was still bothered. "No good comes out of negative thinking."

They picked in silence after that, the only sounds coming from their paws as they shuffled through the snow. _I guess berry duty is better than picking out bones,_ Hanna thought to herself, thinking about Lila and Loki2 who got stuck with that unfortunate chore. _At least this way we don't have a tom cat breathing down our necks the whole time._

"Cindy will be having her kits soon," Ginger said suddenly, breaking the silence. "Do you think she'll have toms or she cats?"

"How am I supposed to know that?" Hanna asked, trying her best not to sound rude. _I like Ginger and all, but sometimes she asks the silliest questions._

"I hope she has tom cats," Ginger continued, ignoring Hanna's attitude. "I don't want any more she cats living like we do."

"With her luck, she'll probably have one of each," Hanna sighed, thinking of Loki1 and Foxfur. They were brother and sister, but it didn't seem to matter given how Foxfur treated her. _Doesn't matter anyway,_ Hanna thought mutinously. _After all, she's a SHE CAT._

"Well, I think this will do," Ginger said, breaking off from the berry bush. Hanna did the same, not caring if it was enough regardless. _Dumb tom cats don't need berries anyway._

"Yeah, let's get these back to the pen," Hanna said, picking up the giant leaf that was resting under the berries so she could carry them. It was impossible to talk anymore with her mouth full, so she walked silently next to Ginger as they made their way across the clearing.

Almost at once, two tom cats rushed forward as they made themselves visible. It was Bluelight and an older tom named Seedheart. Hanna thought the name suited him perfectly. _Weird, seedy cat,_ she thought as she looked at him. Seedheart was a big red cat with clunky paws, clumsy as a kit learning to walk. However, he was one of the nicer tom cats so she forced herself to be nice.

"Finally, you're finished picking!" Bluelight called out, voice four times louder than it needed to be. "Hurry up and prepare our meals, we are starving."

 _THEN PREPARE IT YOUSELF!_ Hanna screamed inside her head. But she knew better than to open her mouth and spill the berries everywhere, so she gave a tight nod. Bluelight rolled his eyes, swearing for no good reason and stormed away, Seedheart behind him. Hanna continued walking to the pen, hoping no more tom cats would intervene.

"Hey girls!" Loki2 called out as she was let into the pen. "How was the picking?"

"Hey, cut it out," Foxfur growled, standing guard at the entrance. "Stop sounding so cheerful."

 _Hey, cut it out,_ Hanna thought as she set down the berries, mimicking his voice in her mind. _Stop looking so ugly._

"SORRY, sir," she cried loudly, sarcasm lacing her tone as she made a dramatic bow. "PLEASE forgive us."

Foxfur just glared at her, and Hanna turned away so he wouldn't see her smile. Behind her, Lila was coughing to hide her laughter.

"How was the bone picking?" Ginger asked, nearly whispering so they wouldn't get yelled at again. "Almost done?"

"It's taking a lot longer than usual," Loki2 mumbled, looking tired as she fumbled around with the prey. "It feels like the bones never end."

"You know what would be funny?" Hanna said suddenly, unable to help herself. She was giggling as she was talking, making Ginger narrow her eyes knowingly.

"We should pick some death berries and serve them up," Hanna snorted. "Instead of these blue berries."

"Ha!" Lila snickered.

"Hanna," Ginger shook her head, looking upset.

"I'm kidding," Hanna told her, wishing she could take a joke. "I wouldn't do that."

"Fairlight would have," Lila said suddenly, her tone wistful. "She talked about it all the time."

"I miss her," Hanna sighed, thinking of her old best friend. _I wish she didn't get chosen,_ she thought sadly. _I wonder how she's doing, with the Jokers. Maybe she hasn't changed; maybe she's sitting in the leaders den right now plotting out how to poison everyone like she did here._

 _She has one moon left before her exile._

 _What will she do when she's free?_

 _Where will she go?_

"Do you think the third Loki is still out there?" Loki2 asked suddenly, interrupting Hanna's thoughts.

"Speaking of Loki's, where's Loki1?" Lila whispered to Ginger. Hanna pricked her ears, she was wondering that too.

"She got the worst chore out of all of us," Ginger whispered back to her. "She had to groom Icestars fur."

"Oh, ick," Lila stuck out her tongue, disgusted. "Wait, isn't that Cindy's job?"

"She's too tired and weak from her pregnancy," Ginger explained. Hanna nodded to herself, turning back to Loki2.

"Sorry, what?" Hanna mumbled, realizing she hadn't heard a word her friend said. Loki2 blinked slowly, looking as though she was trying not to get offended.

"I asked you," Loki2 repeated slowly. "If you think the third Loki is going to come back to help us."

Hanna thought of the third Loki, picked to join the Kings Clan so many moons ago. She was the most beautiful she cat Hanna had ever seen, but she was quite a bit older than everyone else. Hanna didn't know her too well, but Fairlight had always looked up to her.

 _Loki3 really knows what she's doing,_ Fairlights words echoed in Hannas mind. _She told me that once she's free, she's going to come back with an army. An army to take out the toms and save us!_

Hanna hoped this was true for moons, but it was becoming more apparent by the day that Loki3 was just dreaming out loud. _Who was I kidding, falling for that false hope… Loki3 probably ditched the whole army idea and ran as far as she could away from here._

"The third Loki is still out there," Hanna answered at last. "But I don't think she's coming back."

* * *

"Man, I'm starving," Brokenclaw whispered into Bluelights ear. Bluelight gave him an annoyed look, his mouth twitching slightly.

"Well, last night you said you w _eren't hungry,"_ Bluelight said in a matter-of-fact tone. "You probably wouldn't be starving if you didn't skip your dinner twice a week."

"I wasn't hungry," Brokenclaw defended himself, feeling his face grow warm. _I just can't eat when it's Hanna serving me. It makes me feel sick to my stomach!_

 _I'm perfectly capable of serving myself, I hate this_

"I've noticed," Bluelight said, a weird tone lacing his voice. "Whenever Hanna comes around, you just forget you need to eat or something."

"That-" Brokenclaw stammered, completely thrown off guard. _Is it that obvious?_ "That's not true!"

"Uh huh, sure," Bluelight said, not paying attention anymore. He was craning his neck, looking angry all of the sudden. "Where are those stupid she cats? The food should have been out a while ago."

"They're not stupid," Brokenclaw whispered under his breath.

"What?" Bluelight snapped.

"This is stupid," Brokenclaw sighed, pretending that was what he had said. _This is stupid all right, but I'm not talking about the food being late._

By now all the toms were getting antsy, craning their necks like Bluelight had just done. Brokenclaw felt embarrassed for his own gender.

For meal times, all the toms would sit facing one other, all lined up along a shallow log that was stuck in the earth. There was just enough room for all of them to have a spot, with one empty area left at the front by Icestar. It didn't take a genius to figure out Icestar was saving that spot for his kit.

 _Well, if it's a tom that's born._

 _As if he'd ever his daughter sit with him. Oh, that would be SO FREAKING horrible._

 _I hate this fucking place_

"Sorry for the wait, sirs!"

Brokenclaw slumped even farther to the ground when he realized it was Hanna's voice that had just rang out. He glanced up, seeing her leading the way to the log with a leaf wrap in her mouth. All the other she cats trailed along after her, each holding a leaf wrap as well. Brokenclaws heart beat faster as Hannas eyes locked with his, and he braced himself for her to glare at him.

However, this time she didn't give him the death stare.

The look in her eyes was almost… amused.

Brokenclaw sat up a little straighter, feeling a little easier about himself. _Maybe her hate for me went down a notch overnight._

"If the food is late tomorrow, don't expect any of our scraps," Icestar called out angrily. "When I sit down here, I expect my dinner AT ONCE. Not the next goddamn day."

"I'm sorry, sir," Hanna said, bowing her head. Brokenclaw caught her rolling her eyes before she bowed, and he struggled not to snicker. While she was apologizing to Icestar, the rest of the she cats placed a leaf wrap containing their dinner in front of them, backing away at once. They did not expect a thank you and was offered none.

Brokenclaw waited for his own dinner, anxiety nearly choking him as he realized it was Hanna who would give it to him. He sat like a stone statue as she leaned forward and dropped the wrap in front of him, pausing by his ear.

"I poisoned it," she breathed. Brokenclaw took a quick glance around, noticing everyone was too busy eating to pay attention to him. Brokenclaw looked up at her, locking eyes.

"Good," he whispered back.

It was clear that Hanna did not expect that response. She blinked a few times, leaning back in surprise.

"Did you actually?" Brokenclaw couldn't resist asking. His heart beat faster as Hanna started to smile.

"Nah," she whispered. "You'd be the last tom cat I'd poison anyway."


End file.
